I wish you could see your scars turn into beauty
by nataliacrespo
Summary: I am nothing. Plain worthless. I understand why no one would love me though, I'm too flawed afterall. I just need to make myself prettier and skinnier. I'll reach perfection, no matter what it takes.


Darkness. She hated darkness, where all the demons inside her came out to mess with her. She was admiring the work of art she had just done. Blood was pouring out of her wrists, small drops turning the carpet red. Numbness is all she felt. She wished she could feel the pain, feel the blade cutting through her skin. But she felt nothing. No matter how deep she cut, she wouldn't feel a thing. She stood up, stopping momentarily for the dizziness to stop. Quinn walked to the bathroom and put a new bandage on the open cuts. She washed her hands and tried to ignore the voices in her head telling her to continue cutting, to cut until she bled out. She looks up to see her reflection in the mirror. Her fatty-self is staring back, chubby cheeks and double chin showing. That is when she breaks down. Why did she have to look like this? Why her? Why couldn't she be like all the other girls? It wasn't fair. She just wanted to be normal, to have friends, to have a loving family. Is that too much to ask for?

The bipping sound of her alarm made her lose her train of thought. She sighed, another sleepless night fighting against herself. She went back to her room and started her morning routine. She opened her closet and chose the only pair of black skinny jeans that would make her look not so damn fat. An oversize sweatshirt covered her upper body, hiding her enormous tummy and her scarred arms. The last thing she wanted was for everyone to know about her dark secrets, for everyone to call her "an attention seeker" or for them to notice that se was way fatter than it seemed./div

She finished up by applying her make-up. A bit of mascara and dark eyeliner to make her hideous hazel eyes look less horrible. She had red, puffy eyes and dark circles as usual, but nothing concealer couldn't hide.

She unlocked her iPhone and saw a message from Sam Evans aka her not-so-little crush. He would never love her back, so she had learned to ignore her feelings towards the footballer. He was asking her if she was up for practicing for their Glee club duo. She replied a quick yes and went on the calorie counting app she relied on. Today her calorie intake was of 250, 50 less than the day before. She took her phone, her bag and ran down the stairs, praying her father wouldn't be there.

Apparently, she didn't pray hard enough, because he was indeed there, waiting for her. He was on the couch, legs crossed and arms over the sofa. In his right hand, was his glass of whiskey. Quinn took a shaky breath and headed to the front door, wishing she would go unnoticed. Right when she put her hand in the door knob, she heard her father clear his throat.

"Do not even think of going anywhere looking like that, young lady" he spat out violently.

"Like what?" she answered automatically.

"Excuse me?! You fat, disrespectful, little bitch!" he stood up, rushing towards Quinn. "Don't you dare talk to me like that"

"He looked at her with bloodshot eyes and let go of the now empty glass. Judy Fabray instantly came out of the kitchen, with a cleaning cloth in her hands. She kneeled down in front of the mess Russell had just made and started wiping the floor. She didn't spare a glance at Quinn, she just sighed heavily while gathering the broken glass on the floor.

"I-I'm sorry, Sir. I really didn't mean to say that" Quinn took a step back, wincing when her back hit the front door.

"You are not going to run away from me that easily, you stupid slut!" He yanked her by the hair, pulling with such force that Quinn was made to walk towards him. He took a heavy breath and pushed Quinn to the ground, making her bump her head against the wooden floor covered with broken glass.

"She felt the pain spread to her whole body. She then put her hand over her head, feeling bits of glass poking out of her skull. She whimpered and looked back and forth to her impassive mother and her violent and drunk father. She tried to stand up, but the dizziness and the pain kept her from holding her own weight up. She just sat there, blinking back tears and waiting for his father's dismissal.

"Get out of my sight. You are a disgrace for this family and you are not to be treated like an equal under my roof." Her father threw a glare of disgust to his daughter and then looked to his kneeling wife, cleaning up the disaster he had made.

"Judy, fill up my drink"

They both walked away then and left her there, laying on the floor, uncontrollably shaking and tears threatening to spill out.

What a nice way of starting the day, really.


End file.
